Together & Apart

Deciding where you will live together can be a difficult decision, particularly if you are currently living far apart. You will not want to leave family and friends behind, and this can cause a conflict of interest. Having to maintain a long-distance relationship can also place a great deal of strain upon your relationship. But such problems can be overcome.

Deciding where to live

There is no straightforward way to come to a decision about where you live. There will always be a conflict of interest, but by allowing some leeway, the decision can be made easier. Below are some important factors that need to be considered:

  • Close to loved ones - Decide how close you need to be to loved ones, such as family and friends. Both partner’s desires must be taken into account.
  • Work - Does your work require you to stay in a certain location? Can you get another job? Would your partner be willing to move if you were offered a job in a different area?
  • Setting - Do you want to live in an industrial or rural area? What kind of house, flat, or bungalow would you like to live in? Would you like to have a garden? Do you want a particular number of rooms?
  • Other important factors - Other important factors include closeness to schools, colleges, universities, local entertainment, religious buildings and health care.
  • Expenditure - You need to talk about how much money you are willing or able to spend.
  • Leeway - You must allow some leeway for your partner, but it must not be just one partner making sacrifices, as this will only lead to angst.

Living apart

How you feel about having a long-distance relationship will likely differ from your partner. This may be due to your upbringing or negative prior experiences. Many people feel that being apart will cause feelings of love to wane, which can cause them fear. But as long as both partners are happy with the decision, then it does not need to be the beginning of the end. Being apart can see each partner experience bouts of loneliness, but if you communicate regularly then it can work.

How to make a long-distance relationship work

There are no secrets to making a long-distance relationship work. Only through cooperation can it stand a chance. You must be honest about how you feel, including the negatives, and the positives. Below are some tips:

  • Stay in touch regularly.
  • Don’t merely stick to arranged times to speak or see each other. Be spontaneous.
  • Report back to each other about things that are happening where you are.
  • Keep your partner updated with pictures.
  • Don’t get too excited about meeting up again. Your expectations will never meet the actual event.

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