Difficulty Ejaculating

What is it?

Retarded ejaculation, as it is commonly known, is a problem in which men find it difficult to climax. It can sometimes be the case that a man has no trouble ejaculating when masturbating, but only when with their partner. This can be distressful to both partners. Retrograde ejaculation is another form of this condition, and is one where you feel as if you have ejaculated but find no sperm has been released. This is because the sperm has been sent backwards to the bladder, which causes urine to be cloudy when released. This may be caused by injury, diabetes or a neurological disease, and can cause infertility if not dealt with.

What causes it?

Retarded ejaculation can be caused by a range of physical problems. They include diabetes, prostate disease, damage to the nerves, side-effect of prescription drugs such as antidepressants and alcohol abuse. Difficulty ejaculating can also be caused by psychological problems, which can include many of the issues discussed in the ‘Difficulty Achieving Orgasm’ section. Other factors include stress, feelings of unhappiness in the relationship, and any previous negative sexual experiences.

Can it be treated?

Cutting down on the amount you masturbate may help. If it is a medical problem then your local GP can advise you on the necessary treatment. If it is down to psychological problems then a therapist can be of assistance, and will be able to advise you on how to communicate your problems with your partner. There are also several self-help techniques:

  • Relax - Have a bath or lie down, or whatever it is that gets you relaxed. Deep even breaths can help you to unwind

  • Touching and kissing - You don’t need to rush into having sex. Take it slowly, enjoying acts such as kissing and touching

  • Fantasy - Using fantasy to counter any negative thoughts may help

  • Try something different - Role-playing or trying out different sexual positions may help to change the routine

  • Lessen alcohol intake - Drugs and alcohol have a negative effect on the ability to have sex and reach orgasm

  • Medicinal side-effects - Your GP will be able to offer advice on whether the problem is due to any medicine you are taking

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