Talking about your troubles is a necessity. Any problem that goes unresolved can often lead to further angst in a relationship, and can sometimes see people going their separate ways. Whether it is to do with housework, or problems with the in-laws, unless you talk and listen to one another the problem will not solve itself. There will always be disagreements, but if you can learn to communicate in a healthy manner, then arguments can be prohibited from bossing your relationship. Below is an exercise that can help to improve your communication:

  • You will need to make a space of around 40 minutes in your diaries.
  • Then, ensure that there are no interruptions.
  • One person needs to talk first. If you can’t decide who, then toss a coin.
  • Whoever wins the toss gets to talk first about how they are feeling for twenty minutes. There must be no interruptions from their partner.
  • After twenty minutes, swap over. Once again, no interruptions. Try to say what is on your mind. Do not make your turn an answer to what your partner previously said.
  • If there is silence then the listener must remain quiet. Give your partner time.
  • This is not about moaning. Try to make your viewpoint constructive.
  • The listener must pay attention. Otherwise, this exercise is pointless.
  • When you are both finished, agree not to talk about it for a day.
  • If you wish, you can then talk about what has been said. Or, you can take on board what your partner has said and try to do something about it.
  • If you feel that this exercise was helpful, then you can try it again every two weeks or so.

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