Communication

Talking about your troubles is a necessity. Any problem that goes unresolved can often lead to further angst in a relationship, and can sometimes see people going their separate ways. Whether it is to do with housework, or problems with the in-laws, unless you talk and listen to one another the problem will not solve itself. There will always be disagreements, but if you can learn to communicate in a healthy manner, then arguments can be prohibited from bossing your relationship. Below is an exercise that can help to improve your communication:

You will need to make a space of around 40 minutes in your diaries.
Then, ensure that there are no interruptions.
One person needs to talk first. If you can’t decide who, then toss a coin.
Whoever wins the toss gets to talk first about how they are feeling for twenty minutes. There must be no interruptions from their partner.
After twenty minutes, swap over. Once again, no interruptions. Try to say what is on your mind. Do not make your turn an answer to what your partner previously said.
If there is silence then the listener must remain quiet. Give your partner time.
This is not about moaning. Try to make your viewpoint constructive.
The listener must pay attention. Otherwise, this exercise is pointless.
When you are both finished, agree not to talk about it for a day.
If you wish, you can then talk about what has been said. Or, you can take on board what your partner has said and try to do something about it.
If you feel that this exercise was helpful, then you can try it again every two weeks or so.