Constantly arguing?

If you and your partner can not communicate without it turning into an argument, then there may be a deeper seeded reason for this angst. There are various reasons why couples argue. But if you can discover the real problem, then you can learn to overcome it:

  • Common causes and the underlying issue – The usual reasons for arguing are to do with housework, money, the in-laws, balancing your work and home life, children and sex. There are sometimes underlying reasons for these arguments, with housework often a sign of not feeling respected, arguments about sex typically to do with not feeling desired and issues about money more to do with who has all the responsibility in a relationship.
  • Living in the past – We are each shaped by how we were brought up, and this can have an adverse affect on future relationships. If one of your parents left when you were younger then you may look unkindly upon your partner going away with the boys for the weekend or if you lived with a violent parent then you may find it difficult to be close to your partner.
  • Things left unsaid – There are certain things that no one wants to talk about. But this can only lead to further difficulty. There may be unresolved feelings about an infidelity, feeling unfulfilled in the bedroom or feeling under-valued.
  • Arguing can be beneficial – Although arguing can leave us in distress, it can be a good way to get things out in the open. It can also result in a wonderful reunion for both parties when the wounds have healed. A relationship in which the couple does not argue is usually one with no real emotion.

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