Fertility Problems

For many people, having a baby is often thought of as the next big stage in their relationship. But when fertility problems occur, this can be a shock to the system, and can see many people blaming themselves, or their partners. There are treatments available, but they can be lengthy in procedure, and will not guarantee results. If you want to find out about such treatments then you should see your local GP. Being diagnosed with infertility can cause immense grief, comparable to that of a death in the family, but with the support of your partner, family and friends you make it through this tough time.

Infertility for women

Many women blame themselves when diagnosed with infertility, particularly if they have chosen to place their career before having children. This can result in them trying to separate themselves from children, due to the emotions of grief this can bring about. Taking away the ability to conceive can also leave many women feeling inadequate. If you decide to partake in the treatment available then you may become too wrapped up in it, putting aside your relationship and career. It is best not to become too hopeful when undergoing treatment, as this can bring about emotional distress if unsuccessful.  

Infertility for men

Men often feel less manly, or somehow inadequate, when diagnosed with infertility. This can sometimes see them demonstrating more manly characteristics in other activities, in order to compensate. Men will often keep their infertility a private matter, even from friends, leading to feelings of isolation. This is due to the stigma attached to the condition, and the fact that male friends are typically less sympathetic than females.

Affects upon a relationship

If one partner has been diagnosed with infertility then this can cause tension. This is often due to the infertile person feeling as if their partner will leave them for someone who is fertile, while the fertile person may place unwarranted blame upon their partner. Deciding upon whether to partake in fertility treatment can also cause angst, as each person may have differing attitudes to the necessity of having children. Furthermore, the tests involved in such treatment can lessen sexual arousal, as can the need to time having sex according to the woman’s ovulation cycle. However, for many couples, coping through such a difficult time can actually help to bring them closer together, and cement their feelings for one another.

Tips to get by

Each person will feel different when they, or their partner, are diagnosed with infertility. There is no easy way to deal with this, but the following tips may be of assistance:

  • Unlock your emotions – Release your emotions, rather than locking them away. This will only lead to them being released in a storm of anger or heartache.
  • Individuals – There is no one way you should cope with being diagnosed with infertility.
  • Enjoyment – With time the wounds will heal, though never fully. Remember that you are in a relationship because you enjoy spending time together.
  • Reassurance – Reassure each other with love and affection.
  • Keep going – Do not allow your life to come to a sudden stop. Help each other through this tough time, and keep going.
  • Relationship -Do not forget that you are in a loving relationship, and that its foundations need to be upheld.
  • Sex – Although sex can become less appetising, you can recapture the magic. Try some of the tips in the ‘Improve Your Sex Life’ section.

You are not alone

Family, friends and your partner are there to offer support. However, if you feel that you need more support then a therapist can help. They can help you to discuss your emotions, and offer advice on how to make it through this difficult time.


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